Ouch, Part 2

Just got off the phone with the DA regarding my getting punched in the face….

The case is going to trial next Wednesday. (There was a chance that it wouldn’t, since the case is pretty open-and-shut, but I guess the defense attorney is doing his best to make my life miserable. Bring it on!!)

By the way, here are some neat facts about my assailant: 24 years old, penniless, nuts, and lives in a home for nuts. He loves Italian food, long walks on the beach, and punching complete strangers in the face on the subway. Take a number, ladies… he’s single!

Why I hate spring

I’ve been mercifully spared from allergies my entire life. Four or five years ago, however, my body decided that it was time I join in the fun as well. Now April and May have become my least favorite months, and I’ve decided this is the year I’m renting a plane and napalming Riverside Park.

This past Sunday was a bad one. Apparently I wasn’t the only one suffering on the allergy front. The Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America ranked American cities based on how horrible they are to live in if you suffer from allergies. Last year, New York was number 86. This year, it’s number 11! (Stay away from Hartford, Connecticut. It’s number 1.)

And how can we avoid suffering from allergies altogether? “Move to a desert island in the middle of nowhere that is at least 200 miles from any trees.”

Doesn’t sound all that bad to me, especially if New York’s rank gets even worse next year.

Cell phones are evil… maybe.

OK, so I guess cell phones cause cancer after all. According to the Swedish National Institute for Working Life, “Those who heavily used wireless phones had a 240 percent increased risk of a cancerous tumor on the side of the head where they used their phone.”

Yikes! But wait a minute: The FDA has a problem with the study. It claims that “The results reported… are inconsistent with results obtained in the other long term studies” and are therefore “difficult to interpret.”

Phew! However it did go on to say that it “plans to convene a meeting in the near future to evaluate research conducted to date in this area and identify gaps in knowledge that warrant additional research.”

Maybe I’ll buy that bluetooth headset after all….

Ouch

Guys,

This morning on the subway, just as I was pulling in to work, the guy sitting next to me sprang up out of his seat and punched me in the face. Right now I’m a little shaken, but I’m physically fine. My nose is swollen, but I feel that I’m perfectly able to teach class. My doctor, however, feels I should take the day off. Hence the last-minute Tuesday sub.

By the way, they caught the bastard.

Nice ass

Although the workout we get in a step class is without hand weights and far from simple stepping up and down, there’s no doubt that while you’re sweating that ass off, you’re also making it look much nicer.

Thanks to Barbara for telling me about this article. (Barbara takes butt fitness very seriously.)