John Di Bartolo’s House of Step

You can bedazzle your sweater. You can bedazzle a pair of jeans. But have you ever considered bedazzling your privates?

Enter the latest fashion trend: Vajazzling! New York City’s Completely Bare Spa offers a special waxing service, “followed by a Swarovski crystal tattoo design in starburst, butterfly, heart and other shapes.” According to Jennifer Love Hewitt, getting her “precious lady” covered in crystals was just what she needed to get over a breakup. “It shined like a disco ball.”

Check out this hilarious clip from the Onion News Network. Why post it here? Take a look at the newscaster — he should look vaguely familiar.

Denmark Introduces Harrowing New Tourism Ads Directed By Lars Von Trier

Ellen’s at it again, this time showing her latest favorite fitness product, the 3 Minute Legs, and once again, the creators of the product brag about being “featured” on Ellen’s show.

After teaching the 6pm step class on Fridays at 80th and Broadway for over 12 years now, I’ve decided it’s finally time to give the class up. Numbers haven’t been at the level I’d like them to be, and the regular 5 days/week teaching schedule has become a little overwhelming.

Rest assured that everything else on my schedule will remain as is for the foreseeable future.

See you in class!

It’s hard to look at a commercial for the Shake Weight and take it seriously. Ellen realized this and not only showed the commercial on her show but gave the ridiculous device to everyone in the audience.

According to Ellen, the Shake Weight is good for “working out muscles I have never worked out in my life!” (Take a look how it moves and you’ll understand what she means.)

The creators of Shake Weight claim that “Ellen loves her new discovery.” Oddly enough, however, they don’t include a link to the clip of her show.

The group exercise schedule is going to change in January. I’m playing with the idea of dropping my Thursday and Friday single step classes and replacing them with a double class (step, TBC) on Wednesdays at 49th & Broadway.

If I indeed make this schedule change, I hope it won’t disrupt too many of your routines. I would hate to lose even one of my beloved step children!

Wishing you all a happy holiday and a healthy new year!!

UPDATE: As it turns out, there will be no schedule changes for me this cycle. Oh well. Sorry for the false alarm!

Good news. From the New York State website:

Governor David A. Paterson today announced that, effective immediately, health care providers may make the H1N1 flu vaccine available to all New Yorkers who want the vaccine, including those who are not in priority groups established by the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

If you don’t have health insurance, get thee to a clinic this weekend. This is the last weekend you’ll be able to get an H1N1 shot for free. Clinics will be open from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. on Saturday, 12/12, and from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Sunday, 12/13.

Next time you tell someone that you take aerobics, be careful — they might think this is what you do at the gym.

It’s been shown that the act of smiling has a positive emotional effect on the smiler. It therefore stands to reason that any device which constantly reminds us to smile must be good for us.

Enter the Happiness Hat. A sensor measures whether you’re smiling or not, and if the answer is no, you get jabbed in the head with a metal spike.

Says Lauren McCarthy, the inventor of the device, “I’m not suggesting we stab people until they smile. I’m interested in whether technology can teach us to be more human.”

Victims of “eyelash hypotrichosis” (inadequate or thin eyelashes) need not suffer a moment longer. The miracle of modern science brings you Latisse, a treatment you apply directly to your eyelids to cure this most heinous affliction.

Funny thing about Latisse — it used to be a glaucoma medicine called Lumigan. When applied to the lashes instead of the eye, it makes them grow.

The problem is that rebranding a drug doesn’t make its original effect go away. When not used properly, the consequences can be as harmless as brown iris pigmentation (which is still undesirable) and as serious as bacterial keratitis (which can result in blindness).

Let Brooke Shields use this crap. If you want full lashes, get false ones.