John Di Bartolo’s House of Step

Laughing when there’s nothing to laugh about is an activity that has typically been reserved for the deranged. Not any more, thanks to Madan Kataria, the man who created “laughter yoga” in India 15 years go.

As our economy circles the drain, growing numbers of Americans with plenty to cry about are now turning to this form of exercise as a way to boost their moods. Although forcing a bunch of “ha-has” and “ho-hos” intermingled with yogic breathing probably does a body some good, why not catch some stand-up comedy or watch a funny movie instead? At least that way you not only feel better but also preserve your sanity.

From the AquaMantra website:

I AM GRATEFUL™, I AM HEALTHY™, I AM LOVED™ or I AM LUCKY™.

The thoughts inherent in those words permeate the liquid, influencing the taste and beneficial properties of the water. If you are drinking ‘I am Healthy’ for example, you will resonate with the energy to be healthy. ‘ I am Loved’ will encourage you to feel loved and ‘I am Lucky’ will encourage you to feel gratitude for your life and how you want to be lucky!

How about “I AM WASTING MY MONEY!”

A big thumbs-down to Whole Foods for carrying this bottled water.

So Paula’s making a burger. Nothing wrong with that. Then she’s topping it with a fried egg and some bacon. A little heavy, but that’s OK.

But wait a minute… what is she using as a bun? OH GOD, NO!!!

Heart disease is funny and sexy!!
If you’re feeling suicidal but don’t like rushing into things, there’s a new slow way to kill yourself. Visit the Heart Attack Grill in Tempe, Arizona.

The menu includes the “Single,” “Double,” “Triple,” and “Quadruple Bypass Burgers,” the last of which proudly clocks in at 8000 calories. And what better to go with your burger than “Flatliner Fries,” which are “deep fried in pure lard!” Want a diet soda with that? Too bad. Only regular soda is served, so top of your meal with a Jolt Cola instead. For your convenience, unfiltered cigarettes can also be purchased directly off the menu.

For that extra special touch, a sexy “nurse” brings you your food and later carries your fat ass out to your car in a wheelchair.

To quote the owner (who incidentally dresses like a doctor despite not being one), “Don’t worry about what people are telling you. Live for the day.” Good advice if you want to be alive for just one more day.

Scientists placed a shrimp on a tiny treadmill to determine how fast and long it was able to run. For three hours the little bastard maintained a rate of about 3/4 of a mile per hour.

Not too shabby.

A few posts ago, I expressed annoyance at a new ad campaign by the Corn Refiners Association, claiming that high fructose corn syrup (HFCS) is really no worse for you than sugar. Having been told over and over again than corn syrup is one of the reasons we Americans are so fat, my immediate reaction was to label the campaign as propaganda. Even worse, I supported the argument with a quote from Dr. Mercola, someone who I’ve since discovered is a complete quack.

Perhaps HFCS has indeed been given unfair treatment. There are studies linking it to obesity, but this link could simply be due to overconsumption of products containing HFCS, products that would be just as unhealthy if sweetened with something else.

The health effects of HFCS certainly need to be studied further, but as of today, it’s not a slam-dunk win for either side.

PETA spokesperson. Coincidence?
The conditions in dairy farms today are such that cows being used for milk undergo quite a bit of suffering. PETA has a solution that will decrease demand for cow milk as well as improve human health: say no to the udder and yes to the human teat.

PETA has gone as far as writing a letter to Ben and Jerry’s Homemade Inc., urging the owners to make the switch to breast milk. (I’m not sure what the response was, but I can take a good guess.)

Although in theory the idea makes sense, in practice it’s more than a little disturbing. Sure, consuming the milk without gagging will be a challenge, but more importantly, how the hell are we going to collect it? Donations? Women farms?

The root of PETA’s overall mission is a good one. It’s a shame that the organization is run by a bunch of nuts.

From the September 22 New Yorker:

According to “Sarah,” a biography by Kaylene Johnson, Palin had got into politics after she befriended the man who was then mayor and his police chief at a step-aerobics class. She made them her allies and ran for City Council. Then she challenged them for control of City Hall, and drove them out.

And you thought step class was just about keeping fit.

Thanks for the article, Matt!

Perhaps you’ve seen the commercial. A guy and and girl are having a picnic in the park. She offers him a popsicle, and he turns it down because it has high fructose corn syrup in it. When asked why corn syrup is bad for you, he’s unable to respond. She smiles and says, “It’s made from corn, has the same calories as sugar and honey, and it’s fine in moderation.”

“Get the facts. You’re in for a sweet surprise,” says the announcer at the end of the commercial. Is it true? Has high fructose corn syrup (HFCS) been given a bad rap?

According to Dr. Mercola, no. “Part of what makes HFCS such an unhealthy product is that it is metabolized to fat in your body far more rapidly than any other sugar, and, because most fructose is consumed in liquid form (soda), its negative metabolic effects are significantly magnified.” Although a healthy amount of skepticism is a good thing, the fact that HFCS is nasty stuff is a pretty well established nutritional fact.

The above commercial is simply part of a campaign by the Corn Refiners Association to rehabilitate the reputation of HFCS. The good news is that corn syrup consumption has gone down enough for them to be getting nervous. The bad news is that this effort to fight back might actually work with people gullible enough to think our health is in their best interest.

My neck and lower back have been feeling tight recently, and I’ve been considering going to a chiropractor for a little twisting and joint-cracking. An article I just read, however, gives me pause.

A study published in the Neurologist showed that young stroke patients were five times more likely to have had neck manipulation within a week of their stroke. Yikes!

Perhaps it’s too soon to react to this. Just because one event occurs after another doesn’t imply a causal relationship. An alternate explanation could simply be that head and neck pain, which often precede strokes, cause the already stroke-prone patients to seek relief from chiropractors.